“Get Checked”
Original lyrics by Ashley Gonzales
Background song: “Get Low” by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz
Brrr dum dum dum, dum da da da da dum
Brrr dum dum dum, dum da da da da dum (2x)
Ashley Gonzales 
[CHORUS]
3, 6, 9, check your spine
Get it checked in Student Clinic one mo’ time
Get checked, get checked, get checked, get checked
Get checked, get checked, get checked
Check in downstairs, then go up
To find a doc to sign you off
Any doc, or your pod doc
Sign here please please, Goodwin!
Nooo please please, don’t scold
Sign here please please, Hilliker
Nooo, please please, don’t scold
It started off — so fresh so clean
In the OG city, Davenport, baby
‘N this one time, the world aligned
With the first adjustment of the c-spine
Now, can I check the rest of yo’ spine?
Harvey Lillard said, he had to calm down
Let the mind ‘n the body figure it out
Alas! “A & D & Inside Out!”
Technique wars, hey?! Now those don’t work
Also, BJ says, don’t be a jerk
Then came the principles, all 33
The basis o’ chiropractic philosophy
Hey now show me yo’ pisi like this
‘Cause we teach Toggle in this bee-eye-itch
Walton’s World, now how ‘bout dat?
And e’erybody loves to see him get sassy
Now, bring yo’ books over here, dude
And let us study in this knoll — so grassy!
Now take it to the table, put yo’ head in the hole
& if ya atlas is out, keep yo’ head where it’s at
[CHORUS]
Let me see ya subluxate, you scared, you scared
Bet your atlas might hold, don’t be scared, don’t be scared
Have you tried Knee Chest, you scared, you scared
Okay how ‘bout Blair, don’t be scared, don’t be scared
Tap that atlas AYE, palp it fast AYE
Rotate atlas to the left and the right AYE
Tap that atlas AYE, palp it fast AYE
Rotate atlas to the left and the right AYE
Now, back, back, back it up
Imma grab that titron there
Now, scan, scan, scan it up
Up the neck neck to occiput
Now, stop, oh then wiggle wit it, yeah
Stop OH then wiggle wit it, yeah
Wait OH there’s no subluxation, YEAH
HEY OH there’s no subluxation, subluxation
[CHORUS]
This first appeared in the December 2019 issue of Lifelines, the Life West student magazine.